She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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