im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
