Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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