thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm always down for nudity.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
