Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize