He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
