The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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