I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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