Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
