Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
