Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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