They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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