spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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