girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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