He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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