Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
