i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
