Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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