so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
