at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Randomize