The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
