addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
