Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
