I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
