i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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