you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
