did you get engaged???
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
love makes seman taste better
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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