Umm I'm too high to move.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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