i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
should my penis look like a turkey
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize