At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
