Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
