I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
