i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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