dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
