i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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