Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
