you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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