Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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