Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
sarcasm needs its own font
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
