Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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