Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
