I didn't shave. On purpose
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize