Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
