i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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