youre lurking in front of me
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
