Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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