JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
