it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
