It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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