I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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