I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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