At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize