The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize