Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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