We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
