Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
