ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We have started to decorate penises.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
