He kissed a someone with a penis
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
