He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
