And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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