The maid of honor just puked.
You're so nebulous sometimes
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
