I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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